"Blessed are those whose strength is in you, who have set their hearts on pilgrimage." Psalm 84:5


have you ever been out in public, like a concert or a store, or a kite flying show, and the feeling crept up on you that someone was standing a little too close? you looked around, and sure enough, someone had mistakenly backed a little too far into your comfort zone. you either stepped away, or they noticed and moved themselves...keeping that space free and clear of that feeling of a small violation. that's what lonliness feels like to me - a large, lurking presence, standing too close, taking up some of my air space, sometimes even making it a little hard to breathe. sometimes i can make it dissipate, but usually i just have to let the thing tag along, uncomfortable in it's clutches, but it is not polite and respectful of my personal space, and i don't know how to back away. I am a person that likes my solitude pretty often, but this is different...I don't choose when it comes or how long it stays.

c is gone for a few or more days to try to sort himself out. my kids, God bless 'em, are doing a good job of keeping me sane and in the day. it's just that other presence...i can't quite befriend.


are chain smokers
more likely to survive a house fire
more used to smoke inhalation
than those who don't and are
more likely to survive an earthquake
more used to gyrating moving shaking
than those who don't and are
roller coaster addicts
more likely to survive loving someone
more used to highs and lows
wrenching stomachs soaring hearts
than those who won't?