"Blessed are those whose strength is in you, who have set their hearts on pilgrimage." Psalm 84:5

8.20.2005

again, it's been a little while. to explain, i'll let you in on a scene from two mornings ago...watching out the front window by my desk, i could see the line of six kiddos down the hill, new backpacks, new shoes, new haircuts. Watching still as the big yellow bus pulled up, red lights flashing and they all tromped aboard; having to remind myself with some resolve why there were six instead of nine; of all the good reasons we chose to homeschool this year, choosing to turn from the thought that this would've been the first year in, oh, a decade that i could've begun a season of quiet days, time to write, learn to knit, become a better cook, slow down, take my time, shop alone, have lunch or coffee with a friend, breathe before the next wave hit. for seven hours a day, five days a week. i closed my eyes for a moment and then turned back to the K12 homepage and Jesse's science lesson for the day as he ran back from getting his book. "I'm glad you're my mom" he said, and suddenly, it became easier, much easier to think on instead of the bullying and negative/inappropriate peer influence that Kansas had contended with that distracted him from learning what he was at school to learn; how entirely exhausted Jesse was at the end of each school day last year; what a follower Lucy is and how physically small for her age - to think about getting to spend this time with my guys and girl this year..experiencing them being excited to learn, participating in their days, knowing them better than if they had gone to school this time around..
i am as overwhelmed as i am sure that we made the right choice. i'm getting used to the curriculum more every day..appreciating the professional teacher support as much as the freedom in our days as we go along. i don't expect it to be easy, but i do expect it to be worth it. after all, don't i tell them that nothing worth having in life comes too easy? and the perks...Jesse is glad that I'm his mom. priceless.