From troubledwith.org, a website of focus on the family...

"The world’s going on without me. Another common reaction to a major move is feeling like no one really misses you … and maybe they’ll forget you. This panic generally begins following thoughts of how your “old” life — the people you love, your church, your friends and your family — are carrying on moment-by-moment without you. Yes, life goes on, but they haven’t forgotten you.

I’ve only got roots as deep as ivy. With many moves, you are forced to “start over.” Suddenly the grocery store is a labyrinth of scattered items and your quick trip for bread and milk takes three times as long. You get lost … and not just once or twice. After meeting new people for months, you are annoyed with introducing yourself and you crave deep, meaningful conversation with someone who understands you. For many, it feels as if the real you missed being loaded on the U-haul and now you’re forced to reinvent yourself for a whole new audience. This fear has some grounding in reality, for with change, you change. But the real you is still there, and as people get to know you better, you’ll find yourself emerging again."

i read through the list of reactions on this site, and identified most with these two. i knew going into this major life change that I would feel something strongly, experience some difficulties over it, but it was hard to know exactly what it would look like. these paragraphs defined for me what i'm going through right now..i found them helpful, and as long as i can know what's up without focusing on the negative, it will be a good thing. it also helps to know that these are common thoughts and feelings to have after such a jarring change, and that over time they will fade as other things take their place.

on the brighter side, we met our only new friends at sonic with all the kids for dinner tonight, then came back to our house for coffee, board games, good conversation, and a little hurricane preparedness info. they stayed late, the kids played well together (they have two boys a little younger than kansas and jesse, respectively); the only downer was that there was no girl for lucy..she sure misses her little friends. but a good time overall, we were encouraged. here's hoping our three will sleep in just a bit tomorrow...

So I turned 34 last week. I gotta say, it helps that my dear sis is always a year ahead of me (happy birthday, Gina). It's not that I feel old..I just may be starting to have that thing that older people tell me about where I look in the mirror (or at my bunions) and think - huh? I feel so...25!
Anyway, C did his best to make my day special. Roses (twice!), a big box of chocolates that I had the kids help me eat, Dinner - fabulous swordfish in Indiatlantic, a sitter for the kiddos - amazing since we just got into town earlier this month, a funny card, and a few sweet emails. He's quite a guy when he puts his mind to it.

I am trying to take my cues on adjusting to this move from my kids, mostly. They are resiliant, adaptable, taking life a day at a time. I am curious and expectant, while still dealing with the looming lonliness of not seeing a familiar face anywhere. I do like the church we've been visiting, and plan to sign up for a Bible study there. I will help out at the kids' school - they start August 9th...I may work very part time at MediShare's offices or from home for them, swim laps pretty darn cheaply ($1.50/session) ten minutes from my house, maybe volunteer with Meals on Wheels or the Red Cross. Try to write more consistently. Get closer to Jesus. It's still, though, for now, a fine line between hope and heartache.