the sky is milky blue
the moon a seashell pink
grey yellow dusky hue

it's hard to drive in
rush hour steel and speed
what with the soft gorgeous luminary light
seeming to be beckoning me...

the lopsided slipping sad rectangle eyes
and carved pumpkin streched smile grins down
causing my divided attention...i hope i don't have an accident, but who can ignore...?

i want to point out the glowing obvious
to those around me, those
hard grimaces, those busy eyes, those
hands clutching cellphones and fries as they drive

they seem to be missing the reality
they seem in their frenzy to be almost asleep

so...i feel like i'm hosted by the partridge family with this design. groove-o-rama. found out today that we're often talked about in not the nicest way by someone we're in regular contact with. my instinct is to cut ties, narrow my eyes, and leave the relationship in a huff, turning around to talk about them in a not-so-nice way...but the still small voice speaks - "live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day He visits us." - 1 Peter 2:12...what I want is to become like the evildoer...what I am called to is a totally different boat of bananas. and it's all about the focus - my life will be seen, interpreted, talked about...why give fuel for the gossip fire? i'm called to live such a good life that though i may be accused of doing wrong, what i've done is plainly seen and God is glorified for it in the end. my reputation matters only as it gives light to the truth of the Gospel, only as it points to Christ - not because i want to present an image or feel good about myself. i care too much about what is said - i ought to pray for my enemy instead. enemy? way off base, nose in my business aquantance is more like it. well, scuse me while i go check out the plank sticking out of my face...these things are never easy, but who said they would be?

whew! for a week or so there i had nowhere to spill my guts and ramblings...inspired by my friend madi, i'm trying out blogspot, as my last blog was stamped out by a ruthless hacker - but i oughtn't go there, i tend to become quite cynical on matters of thievery and mischief aimed at me for no particular reason. where was i? oh, guts and ramblings...well, to be quite honest, we've had a major rift (or a hundred or so), c and i have, over the past eleven or twelve months; but things have really improved here lately and by the grace of God, we are starting to look like married people, in my opinion, ought to. quite refreshing and fabulous. what else? i put up the christmas tree today. and the lights...i don't hang lights outside, i can't see them very well there. i string them over doorways and around ornaments inside - i love the soft glow against the green branches, the white walls. soothing, serene, and festive all at once. along with the lights emerged the nativity set i grew up with, the cinnamon scented pinecones, the holiday music. the wonderful felt advent tree brian's mom made us last year, the pale blue stained glass angel, the toy that saved christmas video. i look at it all anew every year, i reflect as i arrange shepherds and the tree topper on how we have changed this past year, what we have gone through and (hopefully) how we've grown. i remember again the baffling mystery of the birth of Christ, the babe in the manger, who was God, who is God, who would grow to perform miracles and die a horrible death for my sake. i am blown away time after time, it never gets old. i can be sarcastic and cynical often, but at christmastime, i am able to retain a sense of wonder like no other time of the year.