I don't feel good…I have a cold, and a hypochondriac with any sort of real illness is no fun to be around, I'm guessing. Blech. Since you would probably rather be spared the details of my headache and runny nose at the moment, I'll instead share some thoughts on observation from the other night…
So I'm sitting here in this coffeeshop, the one I work at a couple of nights a week just to keep my foot in the door of interaction with people taller than me, and also for a purely selfish reason - I like to be a barista. It keeps some small part of me college aged. Anyway, I've been coming to work early lately just to read, or write, or look leisurely at the pictures I just picked up - that sort of thing. To decompress from the day, to unwind, to catch my breath before the next wave hits. To have that precious thirty or so minutes when I am not being asked to give time, attention, or energy on someone else's behalf. Me time. It isn't much, but when you don't have any for an extended period, you'll take what you can get.
Right now the sun is shining in the front windows, overpowering the lamps and overhead fluorescent bulbs with its warmth and brightness. It is a welcome intruder, a blazing reminder that the sun cannot be contained any more than the God who created it - we could slam shutters and roll down blinds against it but that would only be foolishly sticking our heads in the sand. Because, of course, the ethereal rays would still be freely flooding over everything else in the general vicinity, right? It would be like those people we know who insist on making terrible life choices and then live with the ugly consequences when they really don't have to - if only they would choose not to ignore the patient and strong hand of love hidden in the shadows…it would be like a scientist insisting he believes in evolution when all the evidence right down to his own bones is screaming this simply cannot be…it would be like Jonah running from God and Nineveh…it would resonate in each of our sordid souls because we can all be this way, yes?
So the sun is casting interesting shadows everywhere, and I am content to gaze at them over my house coffee…renewal feels good, even in small steps.