i go back and forth with this blogging thing...either there's so much going on i don't know where to start to tell you all about it, or else i can't think of a thing to share. hmmm...i can say that i've recently seen the light break through an almost year long depression...that i finally saw it for what it was and sought help, and God is good and faithful and doesn't want us living in a deep dark fuzzy edged cloud, i believe...so here i am. wanting to be a help to others instead of seeking only some sort of balm for my wounds. aware of need beside my own, and trusting God to take care of mine with an abandon i've not known before. it feels light. coming up for air is easier, and the edge of the precipice is not near as daunting, or near as close to me, for that matter. and the amazing thing to me is that although the daily drag has changed very little, the change in me is allowing me to be removed enough from it to not fall prey to emotional decline the way i had for so long. i can even laugh at what used to frustrate me, in many cases. the love of our God is incredible to me...incredible and overwhelming and white and sweet, like a marshmallow avalanche. to live in the light, to not be overcome by all of my stumbling...i'm feeling very free these days.