"Blessed are those whose strength is in you, who have set their hearts on pilgrimage." Psalm 84:5


well i find i have neglected my blog in the face of..facebook. not only that, but in the busyness of the homeschooling year, i have not carved out much time to sit back and let thoughts form beyond "how far behind is kansas in latin?", "ahh..it's 1:00 and what about lunch!?", "do we have everything we need for running club?" (this as we're racing out the door before 8 two mornings a week).
I have read a great book here and there, but even this accomplishment has been interrupted countless times with demands for time and attention pressing in from all sides, and i do well to mention to my husband in fleeting moments some profound truth i caught, a condensed version of someone's experience. i'm getting that longing to hole up in a monastary for a week at least just to clear my head. i have all but given up knitting (though a mom i've just met seems excited to take me and a few other novices under her needles and help us progress..it's just a nice idea at the moment however), if i get two workouts in in a week i'm amazed, and i wish i had a dollar for every note scribbled on a scrap of paper containing a partially formed thought or thing that has to be done, bought, scheduled, or remembered. this time now, as i'm writing this, my kids are finishing up chores and i will be dragged away momentarily to help with math, art, referee a fight, give permission to take a break outside, the list goes on and on. what i know i need to do, i suppose, is stop thinking i am being dragged away. how selfish i can be! hello, lisa - you are in a season of training up kids in the way they should go and all that encompasses. oh, i get glimpses of this, of the fact that kansas will be learning to drive in three years, that jesse is telling us lately what he wants to do when he grows up and it's palatable, that lucy is a far cry from our baby, she's a big kid, inching toward becoming a young lady so fast it makes my head spin. and in ten, twenty years, will i look back with regret that i stole as much time for myself, my thoughts, my rest as i could during these years? Lord save me from this...help me in the craziness and pouring out to be still, if only in the back of my mind, and know that you are God. Help me to keep the big picture and the end in sight, and to remember that in acceptence lies peace.

No comments: