It was an early spring day, evidenced by the slight chill in the breeze that kicked up intermittently. The interludes where it died down were delicious as the unfiltered sun soaked into the winter pale skin of her arms. She could hear deep clangy church bells ringing a mile off, mingling with wind chimes as well as the creaky lopsided whir of the neighbors' ancient Kansas windmill tilting on their front lawn. Cars ambled by here and there, tires bouncing on the brick street. From her perch on the porch chair, feet propped up on the paint peeling rail, she could see up one side of the wide street and down the other. The book in her lap had lost its appeal, her attention now focused on a pair of robins pecking in the grass nearby, their orange bellies stretched round, sky blue eggs hidden still. She closed her eyes and daydreamed, breathing in the peace.

it is a watercolor outside today..grey skies dripping onto green earth, smudging red tulips and brown tree trunks.
it is a watercolor inside me today..my husband has a co-oworker whose family is preparing to bury their 2 year old - could anything else feel this wrong? fits and starts as we parent & live with our teenagers - what will the next few years look like? The next few hours? i turn to my God, where my help comes from, again and again these days. the past & the present run their films in my mind, too analytical for me. paradoxes - tired of commuting but the drive is beautiful, weary of the overfullness of life but knowing this is what keeps me depending on the Lord. keeping all the plates spinning.
perhaps it is not so much a serene watercolor inside me, muted and soft.
perhaps it is a pollock.

running a lot this week..2 kiddos have testing in Topeka. 3 days of zipping down 75, heavily under repair work - no fun to drive on the shoulder when someone stops in front of you to turn off or try to navigate through all the dust clouds the workers' machines are making - anyway, thankful that the van is running fine, I had a full gas tank when the week started, and there's a coffee shop across the street from the test site.

I spent 4 years in Florida living in a rented house with a sandy yard and no clue how to garden in the tropics. Life moved along at a fast and busy clip..working, homeschooling, running a household, kids' activities, on and on..I would see books at the local libraries here and there - "Florida Gardening: The Newcomer's Survival Manual".."Home gardening "Florida style" : a guide for growing vegetables and herbs.." which would make me smile but I never got around to delving into finding out more on the subject. I did miss it though..planning in winter, shopping in early spring, working and watching things grow all summer, eating and sharing the harvest - there is nothing on God's green earth like biting into a slice of sun warmed Beefsteak tomato from one's own backyard.
Back in familiar territory but still not where I can put down roots (pun intended) I can't help but do what I can under the circumstances. Here's the list for the plan to be implemented later this month:
Order starts from Azure Standard..Corno Di Toro pepper, jalapeno pepper, Early Girl tomato, cherry tomato, Big Beef tomato; and some fish liquid fertilizer.
Pick up locally humus/manure, potting soil, pine mulch, tomato cages, 5 gallon buckets, a hose and a sprayer.
Looking very forward to having another go at this.

Well it's been awhile. I'm going to start this blogging thing up again, we'll see how it goes. Here's the skinny on life these days - back in the Midwest, loving that..Chad is having to work 2 jobs and still in pain with a back injury he sustained in a car wreck 3 years ago, not loving that. Living up in Holton, seems too far away from where the rest of our life is happening and we warily watch as gas prices rise, our eyebrows raised and a question in our minds as to how long we can keep this up..money is too tight for comfort but really, not much is comfortable in our life currently. Two teens under our roof and our 10 year old - homeschooling winding down for this year, wondering where the 15 year old can get a job for the summer & what the best school option is for next fall, really desiring a home of our own once again.
I can live with all this uncertainty and stress, undulating feelings and storms all around, as long as I stay anchored in God. His Word. His promises. I need to remember past answered prayer, share with others my struggle and let them stand in the gap with me - this is how the Church works. I am confident in Him, and that is enough for now.