it is a watercolor outside today..grey skies dripping onto green earth, smudging red tulips and brown tree trunks.
it is a watercolor inside me today..my husband has a co-oworker whose family is preparing to bury their 2 year old - could anything else feel this wrong? fits and starts as we parent & live with our teenagers - what will the next few years look like? The next few hours? i turn to my God, where my help comes from, again and again these days. the past & the present run their films in my mind, too analytical for me. paradoxes - tired of commuting but the drive is beautiful, weary of the overfullness of life but knowing this is what keeps me depending on the Lord. keeping all the plates spinning.
perhaps it is not so much a serene watercolor inside me, muted and soft.
perhaps it is a pollock.